Episode 17

I’m Back! Plus Wtf does Lucky Charms have to do with dating?

Published on: 25th November, 2021

I’m back from my unintentional break and I’ve missed you so much!  It’s been a whirlwind couple of months and I’ve learned a lot.

Something that’s been coming up a lot with my clients is concern with the timeline and the journey.  They don’t want to be 40 and just getting married, or they feel like they’ve paid their dues and are tired of the journey.  Thing is, the frustrated energy isn’t going to call in the quality person you deserve.

So what about the Lucky Charms? You’ll just have to listen to find out ;) 

💖💗💓💞❣🖤🤎💜💙💚💛🧡❤

What if you feel like you need a neutral third party to hash out relationship problems, when you need it?  Somebody to help you grow your own self love and shut down the overthinking? 

Introducing the Back Pocket Love Coach!  Get Voxer access to me for 30 days by visiting sogood.love

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodloveco/

Tik Tok: @goodloveco

💖💗💓💞❣🖤🤎💜💙💚💛🧡❤

Song Credit: Chill and Dream by Pink Marble, Stockholm by Revel Day

A Podcast Launch Bestie Production

Transcript
Steph Churma:

What's up.

Steph Churma:

Love bird.

Steph Churma:

How are you?

Steph Churma:

Welcome back to another episode of so good.

Steph Churma:

It is your host, Stephanie.

Steph Churma:

It has been a bit, it has been a moment I've missed you so much.

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I've gotten a few DMS asking.

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When's the next episode coming out.

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I have missed you and right back at you.

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It has been a whirlwind couple of months, but the good news is, is

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that we are here together today

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and really happy with what I'm going to be bringing to you in the next few episodes.

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The good news about energetic whirlwinds and restructuring of time

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and energy is that you learn a lot.

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And I've been having a lot of conversations with my clients

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behind the scenes and a lot of what I've been coaching my women.

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I want to bring to you guys.

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So the next few episodes are going to be another three part series,

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because I think that they're so effective and you deserve the best.

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But for today, I'm going to bring you a little short and sweet one.

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And this has been something that I've shared with clients, but I think it

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will be so, so, so helpful for you.

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So I had I think it was three women.

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Over the past couple of weeks, ask the same type of question.

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And I always find it funny because every batch of women that I work with privately

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tend to be on a same vibrational journey.

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They're usually around the same age.

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They've usually struggled with the same type of things.

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It's pretty fabulous, but when they all kind of come to me with the same

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issue, At one time, it's, it's just the best, because it says to me that this

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work is not only needed and important, but that I'm able to give this analogy.

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And this example to these women.

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And I was like, well, if, if all of them are benefiting from this,

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then my listeners and my followers would, would love this too.

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So I want to.

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Kind of paint a little picture.

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We're going to go down analogy avenue for a minute, because I think that

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one of the biggest issues that I'm seeing in relationship is this idea

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of it should've happened by now.

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I'm 39 and single what the hell or, um, you know, I, I don't want to

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be 40 and getting married a lot of.

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Real concern with the timeline and the journey.

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And I know that women that have been dating and have gotten disappointed, tend

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to get really agitated when .I say things like it's all part of the journey because

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you know, after year, after year after year, Well, the journey needs to stop.

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We want to stop the journey and it's kinda like the idea of running track and it's

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like, okay, well there's only five labs.

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You can run five labs and that's fine.

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But what if there's like a thousand labs?

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Like you're going to get really tired, you know, there's a finish line.

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But like, oh my God, like I can't run another one.

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And they think that a lot of the time, the sheer exhaustion tends to emit this energy

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that comes across as bitter or impatient.

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This sort of energy of like I've waited long enough.

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I've paid my dues.

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Like what the hell?

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I'm I'm still, I'm so annoyed and the frustration.

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That energy does not call in someone that you really want.

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And in order to get back to the energy of calling in, who's actually right for you,

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that light house energy that owning of the self and beaming that out and letting the.

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The right shit, find you that is going to be dimmed.

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If we are presenting as frustrated and impatient.

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And I can tell you, there's no quality guy out there who's going, you know,

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I really want an impatient woman.

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I really want a woman who's, you know, looking at her clock and

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asking, what, what am I looking for 30 seconds into matching?

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They don't, they want a woman who is really happy in her own life.

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Uh, quality guy is going to want to work to enter that life.

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And as a quality woman, you have to remember that anyone that comes

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into your life needs to add to it.

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So when you have two of those energies radiating, that's an easy relationship.

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That's a connected relationship because you are two relatively healthy people.

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That are a match to each other, as opposed to a woman who is frustrated

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and impatient and stressed out.

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And that's presenting because that's either.

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The guy who is only going to want sex from her, like she's hot, but I don't

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want to deal with her or, um, someone else who doesn't know what they want,

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and then it becomes a toxic entanglement.

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So we're going to stop that.

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That's no good.

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We're smarter than that it's time.

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And I think one of the best ways to do that is to really start to

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embrace what the journey means.

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Because I think a lot of the times when people go, just embrace the journey.

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When someone doesn't know how or, or, or how to actually utilize that power, it can

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be very invalidating and very frustrating.

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So I'm going to give you a little concept, and I think if you sit with

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this and it might be silly, but if you sit with this, you might have a

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better understanding and in a perfect world an excitement or an anticipation.

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Of being in your journey and being excited by it as opposed to resenting of it.

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Okay.

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So I want to imagine that you are pouring a bowl of lucky charms, this cereal.

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I'm sure every single person can imagine a big white bull with a big spoon.

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We've got some milk, whatever, and we're pouring a bowl of lucky charms.

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Most of the time, like, let's say like 80% of the time what's going to

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be in the bowl are the cereal bits.

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Okay.

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And then the remaining like 20% are going to be the marshmallows.

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And every time you pourable of lucky charms, the ratio

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is going to be different.

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There's no way to pour a bowl of lucky charms the same way.

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You will never, I mean, unless someone has, has done this

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before, I highly doubt it.

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But the odds of you pouring a bowl, that if you were to turn the bowl over and

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count how many cereal bits versus how many marshmallow bits, the odds of getting

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the exact same ratio is improbable.

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Okay.

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So now let's imagine this lucky terms bowl in front of.

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And I want you to picture that that bowl of cereal is you and your

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dating journey and the cereal bits are the people that you interact

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with and the marshmallow bits.

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Are your relationships.

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So sometimes if you were to take a spoon of your lucky charms cereal, sometimes

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the spoon is going to have just cereal bits and a couple of marshmallows.

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Sometimes it's going to have a bunch of marshmallows.

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Sometimes it's good to have just cereal bits and not is your journey.

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That is your dating life.

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That is your journey.

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And there are going to be moments where it's nothing but cereal.

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For a long time and then you get a marshmallow and you're like, oh my God.

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You know?

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And then sometimes you have a season where it's just marshmallows.

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And so to add onto this, to layer onto that, no two bowls of

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cereal are going to be the same.

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So your bowl of cereal with your personal cereal bits, two marshmallows

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is not going to be the same as your best girlfriend as your sister.

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Not even your brother or your ex, every single person has their own ratio.

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Okay.

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Stay with me here.

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Like I promise we're going somewhere when we don't like our spoons and we

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get another, like, I don't like this.

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We don't really enjoy it anymore.

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Right.

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The cereal gets soggy.

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We're annoyed.

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We're kind of like, Ugh, I'm over this.

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But when it's an exciting adventure, like when you're a little kid and you're

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like, oh my gosh, there's a, there's a little rainbow in this, in this spoonful.

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It's exciting.

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You're like, Ooh, fun, little, a little sweet surprise.

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Didn't didn't anticipate that.

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So a, our dating journey is filled with cereal bits and marshmallows

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and B no one else has the same.

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So this whole idea of comparing, or I should be here yet, or my sister married

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her first boyfriend, or how come I'm still single or how come I got divorced?

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Everyone's journey is going to be different.

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So instead of going to hate the journey or I'm over it, or I'm

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tired of it, what if we just are awaiting on our marshmallow because.

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The thing about the lucky charms cereal bowl is that you're never going

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to pourable without a marshmallow.

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It's never just going to be cereal beds, never.

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So if you can understand and go, okay.

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So I have lots of interactions with people, but I'm for sure going to have

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a marshmallow there's like at least one.

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So if, if that's true and try it, go, go buy a box of lucky terms.

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Pourable and tell me if you get zero marshmallows, because if I were to

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tell you that without a doubt in your lifetime, you will have a great epic love.

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If you, if you want.

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If you truly, truly didn't believe that.

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Like, if I were to say, you will have an epic love in your lifetime, if you want

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one and you were to go, you know what stuff like I've been thinking about it.

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And I, I actually don't think so.

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Like, I, I don't think that romantic love is my Dharma.

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I don't think it's ever gonna happen for me.

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If you truly, truly believed that, then I would give you a

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life plan on how to have a glamor.

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Single woman, fantastic journey earth side.

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But if I were to say to you, do you really believe you'll never find love?

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And he were to go well, I mean, I, I don't think I'm, I'm never

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good enough going to find it.

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I don't think I'm never going to like, just be single forever.

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Like I don't, I don't think that well, if that's the case, if that's true,

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if there is a part of you deep down.

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That believes like, okay, well I'm not actually, am I really going to die alone?

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Like, I may say that when I'm stressed, I may say that when I'm

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pissed, but like, I'm not actually going to be single forever.

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Then you have a belief and over time that belief can move into faith and

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the fastest way for belief to move into faith and therefore register at your

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electromagnetic field and then poof into your reality and change your time.

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In order, in order for that to take place, we need to love and appreciate

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the journey and looking at it as your own specific cornucopia of life experiences

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that are, you know, half predestined, half free-willed, whatever you choose

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to believe, but it's your personal bull?

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It's it's yours?

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No, one's going to have the same.

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So let's enjoy it and let's go, Ooh, interesting.

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This is fun.

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Kind of like it, I kind of liked that I'm going to meet serial bits in my

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life and I'm going to meet marshmallows.

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So I might as well buckle up and enjoy and actually find the opportunities and the

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mystery and the magic and the excitement and get excited again, because guess what?

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That does that vibration of yours?

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That.

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Radiant essence that starts to actually represent who you truly are at your core.

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We're not presenting from resentful and patient bitterness anymore.

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And guess what that does that makes you a perfect aligned match for a quality

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guy who has his own shit together.

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And it starting to like his life and embrace his.

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And guess what?

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That's when the stars align.

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That's when you suddenly get the urge to go to Starbucks and bump

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into somebody, picking out a muffin.

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Oh, sorry about that.

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Oh, no problem.

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And then you look at each other and there's a chemistry.

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And then the offer is to buy you your coffee.

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Jordan says I'm such a dreamer, but I've seen it happen time and time and time.

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That is available to you.

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We just have to set our frequency to it and soft, open, curious,

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radiant, excited, sovereign in control, happy, positive kind.

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You, you go to that space and you stay in that space when you're able to embrace

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your journey and you're able to go, okay.

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What's next.

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What's the next little puzzle piece.

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What's the next serial bit.

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What's the next marshmallow, because you know, what's the even

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cooler part is that your ideal counterpart, that perfect match.

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He's having this bowl of cereal too.

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He's living his life.

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He's in his journey.

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He's meeting his people.

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He's doing his work, everything that you want, you want

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because you believe it to be.

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Belief leads to faith.

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Faith over time leads to a shift in your electromagnetic field, staying in

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that space calls in your manifestation.

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Right?

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We can't just think about it for five minutes and then go back to

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our old impatient egoic responses.

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We can't sit there and go, oh, you know, I'm really going to be

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present and come from my higher self and come from my evolved essence.

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And then.

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Send a snappy reply when something doesn't go your way, we have to hold

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the energy that we are desiring.

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We have to hold it and really surrendering to the journey.

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Like what is presenting to you?

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What lessons are you learning?

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What opportunities are happening?

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What signs are you missing?

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These are all ways that you can actually really, really sink in and.

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Enjoy your love life and enjoy connecting with someone.

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Enjoy deepening your marriage.

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Enjoy not living from a frustrated vibration day in and day out.

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Nature is amazing and energy tends to solve itself when we go, okay.

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I'm I'm not going to keep making my life harder than it needs to be

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in fighting the journey, getting impatient, comparing to others.

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Hating the whole concept of resisting and surrendering getting really triggered

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by being called out on some behaviors.

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Right?

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These are all ways that we hold ourselves down.

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I'll leave you with this.

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I was listening to James Wedmore's podcast.

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I love him.

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He is the best.

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Like he's not paying me for this.

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I am not an affiliate.

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I'm not sponsored, but he is the best coach I've ever worked for.

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In terms of logistical business, he is good.

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And he said in one of his lectures, What people do all the time is really make

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their life harder than it needs to be.

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And he equated it to, you know, saying that you're drowning and there's

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someone at the edge of the shore saying, okay, here, like I'm, I'm I got a hand

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for you, but what they don't know is that you have an anvil tied to you.

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That's keeping you stuck on the bottom of the water.

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And so what most people do is they try and swim.

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They swim ferociously.

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They try and paddle paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle to get to the person going.

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I can help you.

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I'm over here instead of what taking the anger off instead.

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So I know that you ladies can really challenge those old hurts

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and disappointments that are valid and here for a reason, but

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we are almost at the end of 2021.

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And I want you to really look at.

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And do an inventory of your relationships this year, who were your serial bits

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and who are your marshmallows and get excited because the next episodes,

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following this, we're going to take this concept of your ideal match.

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Your perfect counterpart.

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The yin and yang, the beautiful, good love.

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How do you really know?

Steph Churma:

Not just how to get it, but how to spot it.

Steph Churma:

I hope you enjoyed this little quickie.

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Let me know on the DMS and Instagram, follow me.

Steph Churma:

Awkward love co you can always send me a love note.

Steph Churma:

Hello.

Steph Churma:

At good love co.com.

Steph Churma:

There is so much goodness coming your way and I'm so happy.

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About the Podcast

So Good
So Good with Stephanie Churma
Former dating disaster turned wife’d up relationship pro, Stephanie Churma turned her decade of dating hell into a powerful personal turning point - and now she teaches others

Having helped thousands of women find themselves and find love, Stephanie’s methods are designed to pull you forward, and into an amazing, hot and healthy love life

Mixing behavioral psychology, years of education, personal history, and a dash of woo, meet the CEO of The Good Love Company

So sit back, get cozy, put your headphones in, and get ready to learn about love; it’s about to get so good

https://www.goodloveco.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodloveco/

About your host